My 2 New Favorite Artists.

Ryan, Fab & Keri Studio Session from Ryan Leslie on Vimeo.

4.15.o9

I could watch ryan leslie make music all day long.
I'm really happy that he youtube's this stuff.

4.9.o9 pt. 2

Back to that friend shit shit.
Lately, i've had a very VERY hard time grasping the fact that EVERYONE is selfish, period. MOST, if not all of the people I know, primarily put themselves before anyone else, and that's wassup (i mean that as genuine as possible). What bothers me, however, is when, and I know (now) that this is MY problem, these people are the same people that I often put before myself. So the lesson that i've learned is, I can't put anyone before myself because that will get me nowhere but fckd and slowly. Every time i've tried this, it's a problem, and in the past, i've cared, but as of late, i d g a f f. What the hell ever, if i'm doing for myself then no one needs to complain, because hey, you too should do for yourself instead of having to ask me for a damn thing, whether it be something physical or some words of wisdom or advice, I don't have it.
I'm way too nice, and I wish I was being modest or something, but no, anyone that knows me will say the same thing, i'm too nice & I care too much... who's fault, mine!

you learn from your mistakes, and I wish i didn't have to learn the hard way. Hundreds if not Thousands of dollars, Umpteenth hours, Way too many emotions, all theeee shit invested into other people, when I should have been investing in my damn self.


Lesson Learned.

4.9.o9

Thanks to twitter, I get to see a lot of different 'views & opinions' i guess i'll say for lack of better words right now, & everyday something new catches my eye.

"I Believe LOVE has no face, Smell, And no Concept.. As soon as you THINK you got LOVE figured out.. It's goes somewhere else... Whenever a women says to me she JUST broke up with her boyfriend.. My Question is always.. DID YOU LOVE HIM MORE THAN YOU KNEW HIM??"

The initial question, was what is love, and that was the answer. Getting into that would be way too much & it's been discussed.

"Love is the mature version of infatuation."

"Love kills. I'll love again when i'm ready to die."


BUT.

"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Amos 3:3 KJV). Friends are of like mind. The truth that comes from all of this is a friendship is a relationship that is entered into by individuals, and it is only as good or as close as those individuals choose to make it. Someone has said that if you can count your true friends on the fingers of one hand, you are blessed. A friend is one whom you can be yourself with and never fear that he or she will judge you. A friend is someone that you can confide in with complete trust. A friend is someone you respect and that respects you, not based upon worthiness but based upon a likeness of mind.

Got that off the internet, & that DEFINITELY got me thinking. I sent it to ashlie and asked her how many friends does she have now after reading that? Her answer: 3. My answer : 4.

... i'll finish this later.

4.8.o9

You just be frontin' why you frontin'?
I'm abusing my substance, doin a lot of puffin', doin a lot of cussin'.
Talkin to myself like 'B, what happend?'
Yellin 1 minute,
Next Minute i'm Laughin'.
Next minute i'm cryin'.
Next minute i'm dyin',
pass me the aspirin. . .

i'm playin'.

ha.


hey hey hey hey,
don't say you will,
unless you will.
Hey hey hey hey
don't say you will
then play you will,
I pray you will.

4.5.o9

It's easier for you to walk away, than it is for you to reach out to me.
It's easier for you to look through me, than it is for you to see "me."
It's easier for you to distance yourself, than it is for you to really care.
It's easier for you to hear, than it is for you to listen.
It's easier for you to bask in your joy, than it is for you to feel my pain.
It's easier for you to bewilder at my mysteries, than it is for you to probe deeply into the depths of my soul.


It's easier for me to look away, than it is to let you see the feelings betrayed through my eyes.
It's easier for me to cry, than it is for me to talk.
It's easier for me to walk alone, than it is to risk rejection.
It's easier for me to push you away, than it is for me to be held.
It's easier for me to distance myself, than it is to trust that you won´t hurt me.


It's hard for me to smile when I am hurting.
It's hard for me to talk when you won't understand.
It's hard for me to reach out when I need help the most.


If only you'd really look at me and see who I am.
If only you cared enough to reach out when I push you away.
If only you'd hold me, without asking why.
If only you'd acknowledge the validity of my feelings.


But it's the easy roads that are most often taken.
And so I hurt alone.


--Jo A. Witt

4.4.o9

Touched down in London Town Today, and had nothing but TIME to think on the plane (literally).

Got here, had a little convo with someone who used to be important, & now I have nothing but a bunch of FckIt in my system. 'It Is What It Is!' Who Cares, really?

Whiggedy Whomp.

There are bloods in London. This gang affiliation is just EVERYWHERE; spreading like wildfire. smh.

British Accent: on!

Byeee.