New Year, New ... ?
"For last years' words belong to last years' language.. & next years' words await another voice. & to make an end is to make a new beginning." -T.S. Eliot//NFC.
[[What better way to start, brief and to the point, I love you! I used to not know what i'd do without you because you were such an important person in my life. Talking to you everyday, and talking me through what was then 'the hardest time of my life.'Somewhere along the lines between us helping each other through what we were going through, you became my backbone, & I'm so glad it happened, & I'm so glad things aren't that way anymore because we've both grown from that & i've taken everything I learned from that whole experience with me. If I knew then what i know now we would have CERTAINLY had nothing to talk about EVERY single day, but seeing that we've changed generally as people is such a good thing. It seems like everything we were sad about then was so minor compared to anything that's going on now or has gone on this year. ]] LaLala- iLY.
ANYWAYS;;
So i've decided i'm going to try and start this whole blogging thing again. Idk how far it'll get, but right now it will give me something to do. 2oo8 is o v e r.My Ode to 'o8::
You've been bittersweet, to say the least. You brought 7 people into my life simultaneously that I have grown to love & care about a lot, & you've beat the shit out of me with your 'issues.' & as now that you're gone, i'm not as happy as i thought i'd be. Time keeps going, it's inevitable, so holding onto things that just don't seem to work for me is a no-can-do anymore. Thank you to everyone around me that kept me going , those that are & are not still a part of my life. I've learned more in the past 365 days than i've ever learned before:: about life, about people, & about CHANGE. I've decided that 2oo9 is all about change for me in a great way. Everyday i'm going to think about a way to change, for the better, and see how that goes. Much Love 2oo8, Farewell.
My New Year was very -relaxing- to say the least.
I spent midnight with Rossi & Nailah, and the first thing that we heard at midnight was "Man, i hope i don't regret spending my New Years with you guys." -Rossi. =_=. Then he calls someone and asked them what they were doing, and all of a sudden he screams "FUCK I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN WITH YA'LL!" LoL. It's okay, he loves us;; Troy, Tone & Tyrone came shortly there after & yeah . . . HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The only person that was missing was:
ElBestii.
Since San Francisco is like my home now, these people have become my family, (whether they like it or not) =D.
[[I LIED:: Also missing were Sascha, Jasmine, & Sherena]]
This time last year, Sascha & I were roaming the streets of New York w. Kirdie having a blast.
If we had anything to worry about, we sure weren't worrying about them then. I felt so carefree & happy... & here I am 365 days later, a year older, and much wiser... with a whole bunch of shit to worry about. LoL.
A lot of GREAT things happened in 'o8,
& a lot of things that i wasn't expecting at all. Most of the things that i've learned this year, most of the outlook I have, & the perspective I have singlehandedly came from one person. When they came into my life i was so happy, genuinely, because life hadn't let me in on it's little plan to fck me over in the months to come, & i wasn't prepared. But, i met them, & they made me see life in a different way. They've told me a lot, & i learned a lot from them whether they know & believe it or not. They made me really happy & really sad maybe also without knowing it, and forced me to accept 'change.' I thought I hated change, but i was just scared of it, but whether or not i'm scared, people and things will change, and time will keep going on, so i have to get used to it. They made me [appreciate] life & people a lot more than i did before & they also made me scared to trust people. I learned from them that people will let you down, but you have to just get over it, basically. I always knew that actions speak louder than words, but i never really KNEW it until i met them.
SO;; for 2oo9, I am going to start off by trying to 'Let Go & Let God.' I wonder what this year has in store for me? I'm prepared for the worst;; HOPING for the best =D.
